The Third Time is the Charm

Guess what?

Time to dust off the old blog for the third time around!

This time we had to try for what seemed like quite a while--five cycles. That's not a long time compared to some, but considering that Shane was a surprise and Azaria was the first try, I kind of expected it to happen sooner! No matter though.

I told Nathan really romantically this time. I put the test in my pocket, went out to where he was sitting on the couch, and told him I had a surprise for him in my pocket. As soon as he felt my pocket he knew what it was! That evening as a treat to celebrate we all went to dinner at Applebees, then stopped at A.C. Moore to get little T-shirts and iron ons for the kids to make them big brother/sister T-shirts. 

The weekend after we found out I went to a wedding of an old friend. My parents and my sis and her husband we meeting us there, and I was riding up with my brother and his wife. Then after the wedding the whole family was coming back to my brother's to spend the weekend. So the morning we got back to my brothers, I put the kids into their new T-shirts to break the news to my parents. It was so cute! 

Once we got back to Virginia, we Skyped Nathan's family to tell them as well.  The next week, we worked on a cute announcement for Valentines Day. Except, as is commonly a problem for me, I was a day late! I have to be honest, most of the reason I was a day late was because I was too lazy to get dressed up and put on makeup for nothing but pictures. Its a problem. Anyway, this was my finished result.

And, because I think my kids are super cute, here are a few outtakes.

Apparently Azaria was less than thrilled about becoming a big sister, and needed a little mid-photo shoot reassurance from Uncle.

A few leftover crocodile tears...

...and then smiles again!

Wreaths Across America at Arlington National Cemetary

It's really hard to believe it's been 7 months since I wrote here. What a waste! When I lost all of my pictures from Azaria's birth and first two weeks of life I lost all of my motivation to write here too. I'll try to go back and catch up as I can.

A few weeks ago my brother called and asked if I wanted to help lay wreaths in Arlington Cemetery  Of course I said yes! That's just the kind of thing my patriotic heart enjoys. There's an organization called Wreaths Across America that puts wreaths on graves across all fifty states, but the most well known location is at Arlington. I encourage you to go to their website and read their story, it's very interesting. Ultimately their goal is to remember and honor our veterans. Unfortunately we got to the cemetery a little late for the welcome ceremony so we just went and found a truck. 

The grave of a Wilkins. Who knows if we're related, but it's the first one Jeremiah has seen and he works there most days. The smaller pictures to the right are all of volunteers unloading the truck we were at and laying wreaths.

The Freedom Guard have been escorting the wreaths to Arlington since at least 2006, and they do a lot of other great work as well. Jeremiah and Shane photobombed my Freedom Riders pictures!

We had to wait for about half an hour before the truck opened. It was neat to people watch while we waited. There was a large group of German soldiers, and I heard French and Spanish as well. 

Shane just loves his Uncle Jer! We each got one wreath to lay as there were a large number of volunteers and a limited number of wreaths. I think people in other sections got to lay more but we were in a pretty crowded section.  

We let Shane lay all of the wreaths since I want the kids to really learn to honor and respect our history and our vets. Jeremiah helped him lay the wreaths and then he told Shane about the person buried there, where they were from and where they fought if the stone said. I'm not sure why but I thought it was sweet that with each stone as we walked away Shane would touch it with just one finger.

Once we laid our wreaths we walked around for a little while. My brother is great to sight see with since he is there most days (he is in the USAF Honor Guard) and he knows a lot of DC history. 

While we were walking around we saw the stone of a two day old baby, the youngest Miah has seen yet. He said when they are standing in formation for long times one of the things they do to keep their minds busy is find the oldest and youngest people they can see, as well as who fought in the most wars or conflicts.  The baby's stone was in section one, the first section in Arlington. She was the youngest he's seen. Pictured above you can also see the original chapel and amphitheater. In the bottom left picture you can see the Pentagon, and in the one to the right of it you can see the Memorial Bridge and Kennedy's grave.  As my brother told it to me, the story of Kennedy's grave is this: One day President Kennedy was getting a tour of Arlington from a college student. As they stood on the lawn of Arlington House and looked across the Memorial Bridge, that link between the North and South, the President said he wanted to be buried there. Since they couldn't bury him on the lawn, they buried him down the hill.

Arlington House also has an interesting history, but I'm out of time to write so you can just click on the link and read about it. The tree trunk on the right illustrates the history of the house by the rings on the tree--it was planted when the house was built.

39 weeks {4 Days}

Whoa, 39 weeks, nearly done and it's hard for me to believe. I know I've said it before, but time has really flown this pregnancy. Compared to a lot of people I have really easy pregnancies and that is such a blessing!

Last week I lost a lot of MP and started having my regular braxton hicks start earlier on the day. Then night before last I was up through the night "cleaning out" and had BH's regularly all day yesterday. I'm 85% effaced, +1 station, and 3 cm dilated at the external os as of my appointment Thursday. So who knows how close I am, but my body is definitely warming up for the big event.

I feel prepared as I can be. I spring cleaned my house and car this week, my mom flew in on Thursday, and Nathan got home yesterday. I've told Azaria for weeks that today would be a good day to start labor (as long as she waits until after Nathan and I have a date this afternoon). My mom votes for her birthday to be on Mother's Day. That would be pretty cool!

I am a little nervous about the birth but mostly excited. I'm so excited for my water birth! I'm excited that my husband and mom and son can all be there and participate as much as they want. The part I'm nervous about is knowing if I'm actually in labor, since I was induced last time.

I'm also dealing with what I'm sure are totally normal feelings about giving Shane a sibling. I feel sad/guilty, because he won't get my undivided attention anymore. He'll have to share snuggles and time and his mommy. I keep reminding myself that a sibling is a great gift.

Of course, my darling baby girl, we are all so very excited to meet you! Your big brother gives you kisses (and pokes too of course), and he just loves babies so I know he will love you. We have everything all ready for you so you just come when you feel like you are ready.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4GLTE smartphone

35/35

Um, yeah, so I've gotten really bad at this whole blogging thing haven't I?!

How Far Along: 35 Weeks, with 35 days left to go until my due date.

Total Weight Gain: 20 lbs
Sleep: Ok. I was getting to the point where I really couldn't sleep because my hips hurt so bad but I mostly solved the problem with an extra pillow. Sleep is always a welcome friend!
Best Moment of the Week: Hitting 35/35, I think. There's something cool about the symmetry of the numbers. 
Worst Moment of the Week: Shane didn't take a nap ONCE this week. I have cried every day this week. There is a direct correlation. I don't know why he is suddenly refusing to nap, but I don't like it and I hope it is a very brief phase!
Movement: Well, she's getting pretty big in there so it's not so much a dance party now but more big powerful thumps and rib-cracking kicks. She still hangs out on my right side. She's also very low...no dropping for me this time, she's just already down there.
Food Cravings: I HAD to have chinese this week.
Gender: Girl! Azaria Natalie.
Labor Signs: Yes.  At 32 weeks I was sick, I had the flu and then I was just sick for like two weeks. I had contractions a couple nights that week, nothing too worrisome as I was able to get them to stop but at my visit we decided to go ahead and do an internal to check where things were so we would have a better idea what was going on. At 32 weeks I was at a 0 station, 40% effaced, and 1.5 cm dilated at the external os. I wasn't dilated at all at the internal os, so Emily wasn't concerned. I had more contractions between 32 and 34 weeks, so I asked for another internal. (I know, terrible. I am so curious) Anyways, at that appointment I was 60% effaced and 3 cm dilated, but still closed at the internal os. I haven't decided yet if I will have any more internals since I'm in the "safe" zone next week. (36 weeks is the earliest you can deliver at the birth center) Knowing myself though, I probably will. I am so curious, I like to know what is happening and I know better than to get excited by any "signs". I know the argument against internals is that they can introduce infection, but a gloved hand seems cleaner than you know what else.
Belly Button: It finally turned into an outie, after weeks of popping in and out. I didn't realize, but it's kind of painful when your belly button pops out!
Wedding Rings on or Off: On. Well, my engagement ring is in the shop because one of the prongs was worn down too much. But it will be back on my finger when it's fixed.
What I miss: This week, Nathan. He started going out of town again finally. I say finally because his season usually starts a lot earlier and that's when he gets good paychecks. But Shane and I are really missing him!
What am I looking forward to: Meeting baby girl!
Weekly Wisdom: Staying up late is overrated when your kids stops taking naps. Sleep when you can, as much as you can! 
Milestones: 35/35
Weekly Verse: Who of you by worrying can ad an hour to his life? Luke somewhere.

Bankruptcy

 I am 26 very responsible years old. I am declaring bankruptcy. And it seems so, so wrong.

Back in 2007 I was dating someone, we'll call him Fred, whose car was having problems and rather than having it fixed he decided to trade it in on a 2004 Dodge Ram 1500. He walked off the lot with the truck, no problems. Two weeks later, the dealership called and said there was a problem with his credit, and he either needed to get a co-signer or bring the truck back and take his old car. (Years later that sounds sketchy, does it to you?) He asked me if I would co-sign for him and after consulting with my parents and the couple I worked for, both couples I highly respect, I told him I would NOT co-sign for him. But I did tell him I would go back to the dealership with him to talk to them. I was advised not to go, but I felt really bad for him so I went anyway.

When we got to the dealership the salesperson meeting with us pulled out the big guns on me. "He's already got the truck, you don't want him to have to give it back do you?" "He's a veteran (he'd recently come back from Afghanistan) don't you want to help him out for serving our country?" And on, and on. At one point I stood up, told the person I needed a break, and went outside for some air. A manager came out and asked if I was alright, and I said I felt that the salesperson was manipulating me. The manager came into the meeting with us "to help me" and ended up being just as manipulative. I felt guilty. I felt ashamed and selfish for not helping out. My hands and insides were quivering. I'd quit smoking when I moved to Colorado and I bummed a cigarette off someone outside. I was naive, and kindhearted, and ganged up on. This was why I was advised not to go to this meeting, and how I wish I'd listened!

I caved.

I signed.

Things have never been the same.

50 pages of paperwork, plus dozens of copies of financial records. Can you say time consuming and frustrating?

I can't blame anyone else though. No one put a gun to my head and forced me to sign, however much it might've felt like it at the time! It was my poor decision, and I'm still paying for it. The deal was that since I co-signed, Fred would go in six months when his credit was improved and had the truck refinanced. He swore he would never miss a payment and his parents in their gratitude even called me and thanked me and said that they would even make payments rather than let him be late or miss one. Haha. Ha. Haha.

Eventually I came to my senses and broke up with Fred. I met my now husband and moved to Texas and got married. Throughout the years since then I have been plagued with calls about missing payments, late payments, when will you be making a payment. I called Fred many times and begged and pleaded with him to refinance and get the truck out of my name.  Finally in January I got the call I've been expecting for years. The truck had been repossessed. Fred couldn't (or wouldn't) get it out of hock, and he was going to declare bankruptcy.  Legally, that left me responsible for the balance of the debt, a five hundred dollar plus monthly payment.  A free consult with a lawyer determined that if I couldn't assume payments, I'd have to declare bankruptcy as well. There's no way we could assume payments, so that left me with bankruptcy. I called my mom, crying with guilt about being a Christian and having to declare bankruptcy. Fred assured me that since me having to declare bankruptcy was his fault that he would pay my lawyer. (Ask me if I believed that!)

Thank God I keep important paperwork. I needed it.

So here I am in March. I have filled out hours and hours worth of paperwork. I have made dozens of copies. We had to use tax money earmarked for other things to pay my lawyer, and while I'm grateful that we had that available and that Nathan was fine with using it, I'm still REALLY angry that Fred bought a camaro and then texted me that he couldn't pay for my lawyer. I have waited impatiently for three weeks for Nathan's incompetent company to provide me with ONE document that has been holding me up. Nathan was finally able to get the document last night so I finished up the paperwork this morning and have an appointment with my lawyer on Monday. 

At least I have someone cute to keep me company in my paperwork misery.

From here we will go over my paperwork and then the lawyer will file for me. I have to meet with my creditors (may be via phone) and then I'm not sure what happens after that.

Shane Nurturing

*We took these pictures today to re-create the event. It actually happened a few weeks ago.*

The other day Shane came to me with his duplo man and a baby washcloth. He wanted me to swaddle duplo man like I do his baby. In the below picture he was shushing and patting.

I swaddled duplo man and gave him back to Shane, and he took off down the hall. (He was mid-blink, oops!)

He put duplo man in his crib, making sure he was on the pillow. Well, the first time he stuffed him through the slats. This time I had to help him because he wanted duplo man to go over the rails.

Then he jabbered at me until I realized he wanted duplo man covered with his blankie. Once duplo man was put to bed to Shane's satisfaction he took off and left duplo man there to sleep.

Petrichor

You know that smell right after a good rainstorm when it hasn't rained in a while, when the earth smells fresh and clean and like living things? I love that smell. It's such a happy, "fresh start" smell, and it smells a little different in different places that I've lived. But no matter where I live, I love that smell.

Well, get ready to get your socks pulled down. That smell? It has a name. Petrichor. Cool, right?!

According to wordsmith.com, Petrichor, pronounced PET-ri-kuhr, means "The pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell". I also liked this little blurb about why this spell occurs, found on the same website. "Petrichor, the name for the smell of rain on dry ground, is from oils given off by vegetation, absorbed onto neighboring surfaces, and released into the air after a first rain." Matthew Bettelheim; Nature's Laboratory; Shasta Parent (Mt Shasta, California); Jan 2002.