Wednesday, April 21, 2010

34 weeks and some change

34 weeks. Every once in a while I get to doing math (I know, it’s a stretch for me) and I realize that if Piglet comes at “full-term”, or 37 weeks, he would be here in a very very short 3 weeks. If he wait until he is “due”, or 40 weeks, he would be here in a very short 6 weeks. If he is overdue, the longest it will be before he is here would be 8 weeks. However, since I have G.D., I don’t think Dr. H. is going to let me go past 40 weeks. We’ll see. So I’ve basically got 3-6 weeks until there is a baby in my arms.

Um. THATISNOTVERYLONGATALL!!! Everyone keeps asking me if I am ready. What can I say? Am I ready for my life to be turned topsy turvy? Is anyone ever ready for that? Or do we just accept it and deal with the changes as they come? I’m ready in the sense that I have most of the things I need “stuff” wise. I’m ready in the sense that Piglet has clean clothes, and I have a Dr and a hospital and a plan in case my husband is not at home when I go into labor. I don’t have a hospital bag packed. I don’t have a breast pump. I don’t have the guest room ready for my mom, or the garage organized the way I want, or the car traded for a four door, or our maternity pictures taken, or a waterproof pad for our bed in case my water breaks at night, or a million and one other things that I “have” to do before I have a baby and no free time or free hands. And let me be honest, there are things that I physically CANNOT do right this second, or without my husband’s help. I can’t go organize the garage, because I can’t lift the totes. I can’t get the guest room ready until I sell the futon. I can’t trade the car because I am too nervous to go meet the guy by myself, and I don’t know all that much about cars anyway. I can’t do maternity pictures because my husband is gone. And really, I have to do things a little at a time because I am finally, finally getting that I am not superwoman. At least not right now.

But I am ready, too. I’m ready to see my sweet little baby and inhale all of that baby goodness. I’m ready for my mom to come stay with us and meet her first grandbaby. I’m ready to put my shoes on without huffing and puffing. I’m ready to deal with the changes as they come.

I’m a little nervous. Honestly, the thing that make me the most nervous is the lack of sleep. I love to sleep. I sleep about 10 hours a night right now when I don’t have to go to work the next day. (Well, 10 hours -2 potty runs -turning over every half hour –introspective thought time that I never remember the next morning. So maybe 9 hours) And sometimes I still take an afternoon nap. I don’t do well without enough sleep. I. Love. Sleep. And I know that in 3-6 weeks, I’m not going to be getting much of it. And that? Makes me nervous. I’m nervous that Nathan and I won’t be able to be spontaneous anymore. We are very much the couple that does fun things on the spur of the moment. I’m nervous that we will lose “us” in the “new us”. I’m really nervous is that I’m going to be doing this so much alone. Nathan is planning on taking a week off. My mom will be there for the first two weeks. And then it’s just me. Nathan is going to be out of town most of the summer. I’m scared of being so alone and having to deal with a new baby all by myself, day and night. I’m scared that I’ll resent either Nathan or Piglet or both because of it. Sigh. I guess I’m not ready after all.

But anyway, 34 weeks. At 34 weeks, you don’t feel so much glowy and beautiful anymore. Now you start to get the puff. You know, the puff; your eyes are puffy, your face is puffy, your feet and ankles are puffy, your fingers are puffy, your belly is—well, way beyond puffy—shoot, I think even your hair follicles turn puffy! Is it worth it? Most definitely. Am I still enjoying pregnancy? Yup. Although, believe me, when Piglet is a teen and I need a guilt trip I am SO going to whip out the “Do you realize that I gave up pizza, chips, and SUGAR FOR YOU?!?!?! Straighten up!” Haha. That makes me laugh because I can totally picture it happening.

I had an appointment yesterday. Dr. H did the strep B swab and since he was in there he did an internal. Everything is closed up tight, which is what I want to hear for a little while longer! Piglet’s heartrate is awesome (according to Dr. H., my “indigestion” is taking on a life of its own, wink wink). I will have an ultrasound in about two weeks (36) to have a look at the little oinker in there. I lost weight again. My sugars look good. And Piglet is determined to give Mommy broken ribs before he come out to meet us!


Hannatu said...

You are so right that you are never completely prepared. At least you have an idea of what you are unprepared for! Somebody told me once that you don't have to worry about dividing your love between two people because love always multiplies.

Funny story about puffy....there was a guy in my cousin's neighborhood who was calling all the women and sexually harassing them. He called her and with heavy breathing said, "Mrs. H____, you are so sexy!!" She was nine months pregnant. She looked down at her puffy feet and her puffy belly and her puffy fingers and just started laughing hysterically. And that guy never called any of the women in THAT neighborhood again!

Dusty Penguin said...

This was a good blog. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. No one feels ready, and everyone has the same anxieties/fears. Take one day at a time, one minute at a time. Don't worry about getting ready for your mother. She can do all that stuff when she gets there. She can sleep on a couch or on the floor or on the futon you haven't sold:) Just concentrate on getting your maternity pictures and your car traded.
Weight loss is a nice side effect of your "diet", since you know you're being healthy, not starving yourself. I think I have lost about 7 pounds. It doesn't show anywhere, though.
I think you should have Nathan take his week off after I leave, so you get three weeks of help.